Don't Write Like That Guy

I think good writing should communicate, not call attention to the ultra-stiff and serious way it communicates. Apparently, that's not how everyone thinks.

Want an example? Here:
 

Collaborate closely with multiple cross-functional leaders to establish and ensure new communication campaigns and programs are aimed at reaching defined metrics and Key Performance Indicators.  

^ This is from a job description. Can I do that? Yes - I can, I have, and I will - if you pay me enough.  

Sorry; I don't make this stuff up. It's real and it's everywhere. While I highly recommend that you don't write like this, I also suggest pretending that someone did make it up, just to make you laugh. And then, laugh. It's good for you.

~Diane Stresing